dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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