i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
