She announced her abortion via fbk
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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