Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
