I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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