I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
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