I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
