we have officially lost it.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
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So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
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Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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