She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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