i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
