I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
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And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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