Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Randomize
