We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
you win again, gameday.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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