did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
