Don't you send me to vm
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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