oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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