we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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