the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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