I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I skipped work to stalk him.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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