and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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