Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
