can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
