She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
