i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
