We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
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