Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
