You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Soap is not a condiment
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
