my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize