awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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