Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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