Me too!
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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