How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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