Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At least make sure they are 18
Why
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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