I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
