lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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