if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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