I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
