Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
