I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
