just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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