I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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