She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
