Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Sacagawea was the original milf.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
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