you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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