He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
