Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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