But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
