Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
