If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
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