Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
