apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just cut my nipple shaving
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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