Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
