Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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