i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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