I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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