Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize