You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
