i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
