But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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