he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This baby is an asshole
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
