Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
