he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
