I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize